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Originally shared as part of Inbox Reflections - honest, heartfelt emails to support your binge eating recovery as a highly sensitive woman. 

I had a realisation at Christmas a few years ago which played a considerable part in my binge eating recovery. After all the Christmas indulgences, I noticed that my whole being would look forward to eating “normally” or even “healthily” again.

I actually wanted more vegetables, regular meals and to lay off the chocolate.

Do you get that feeling too?

This was a revolution for me because I was used to heavily controlling the food I ate, particularly food that I deemed “treaty” or even more so, “naughty”. I did this because I thought that if I freely allowed myself those foods, I wouldn’t stop eating them. 

But each Christmas I’d prove myself to be wrong. My body would always step in and say “ENOUGH”. Usually a day or two before New Year’s. 

And from this, I could see how it was instead my restrictive thoughts and behaviours that drove me to binge…

When I opened the fun food floodgates at Christmas I’d go into a frenzy and eat whatever I could whilst it was allowed. Part of me felt like it had to get its fix because come January, I’d be back to a diet, clean eating or “just being good”.

Will I indulge myself this year? Yeah, I will! Food is a big part of my Christmas - it’s a celebration after all. What’s different now however is that I know, deep in my core, that it’s okay.

And that means that there is no panicked frenzy, no guilt and no trying to make up for it. Just enjoyment and acceptance of what it is. I recognise that “enough” signal from my body and enjoy transitioning back to eating more normally for me, knowing that I can eat whatever I want whenever I want. 

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