Reading / watching time: 19 mins This is a question that Ester emailed me directly and because it’s something that often comes up further along in binge eating recovery journeys, I asked if she’d mind me sharing it and my answer with you all. Thanks for agreeing Ester! She asked: “I strongly feel the wish to lose weight now that I’ve gained food freedom and I would really love to hear your experience about this. Do you still face the desire of being thinner, do you have any tips to handle it or do you suggest to just let it go and provide the unconditional love and appreciation that is needed underneath?” So in this video I share with you my most recent experience of wanting to lose weight, a couple of things for you to work with in your own journey and some words of wisdom from Ester…

Reading time: 1.5 mins Originally shared as part of Inbox Reflections — my weekday emails for highly sensitive women who are ready to stop binge eating. There’s a game called “enough” that many of us are unknowingly playing but know the rules of all too well. The game where we believe that our bodies aren’t; Slim enough Toned enough Curvy enough Smooth enough Beautiful enough Anything else enough And so we do the aaaaall the things to reach that winning destination (the diets, workouts, fasts etc). But when we reach our goals, that sense of “enoughness” almost immediately disappears… We worry about losing what we’ve worked so hard to achieve, the body shape “trends” shift or we fixate on another part of our appearance. This reality hit me (again!) on the weekend when I was having breakfast in a London cafe and got talking to a couple of women at the table next to me. One of them told me that she’d never wear a sleeveless top, no matter how hot it was because she thought her arms were “too skinny”. This particular insecurity struck me because: She had the kind of body I would have once done anything for. So many women don’t like their arms for the opposite reasons - they think they’re too big or soft. And I felt so much compassion for all women in that moment because there is no winning. No matter how your body looks, if you’re participating in this game, you will feel insecure about something. I’m not saying that it’s bad or wrong for having moments of insecurity, we all will at times and that’s okay. What I am asking you is whether you’re willing to spend your life trying to get your body to look “enough”, when “enough” defined by this game doesn’t really exist? Are you willing to continue playing?

Reading time: 1.5 mins Originally shared as part of Inbox Reflections — my weekday emails for highly sensitive women who are ready to stop binge eating. There’s an outdoor swimming pool where I live that I went to a couple of times with friends when I was about 13. People come here to swim but also to hang out and lay in the sun. What I primarily remember about going back then is how insecure and judged I felt in my body. I was very conscious that my friends wore cute two-pieces and I had a one-piece - not that I would have wanted to show my tummy anyway. I felt mortified that boys from school were there and imagined them rating or comparing our bodies. And I wanted to implode with embarrassment at that dark hair on my legs. I moved back to my home area a couple of years ago and have found myself at this swimming pool plenty of times during the summers. And you know what? Two things have really struck me… 1. There are people there of all shapes and sizes who are unique and beautiful in their own way. Seeing women who may not have the “ideal” body we’re told to aspire to just getting on with their lives and enjoying themselves at the pool is incredibly healing. Yes, they probably have their insecurities too, but those insecurities aren’t stopping them! 2. Most of the judgement I felt before came from myself. When I now see other people’s bodies with a whole lot more love and compassion, it’s easier to see my own in the same way. I also realise that when I’m telling myself that my body isn’t good enough to be seen, I’m essentially saying that about other people’s bodies. When I question whether that is true the answer is always “of course not!”, in which case, that can’t be true for myself either. I'm basically saying that your local pool is likely a great place to expose yourself to the realities of what most people’s bodies actually look like, and that you’re as worthy as anyone else of baring all and enjoying yourself!

Reading / watching time: 14 mins We have a great question about fatphobia from Ester this month who says… “Hello! Thank you so much, you are helping me a lot in my recovery ❤️ I'd love to ask if you can go deep into the fatphobia trigger, even if I now have a good relationship with food I still feel there's this subtle judgement towards fat and my wish is to be able to look at me and others beyond the physical appearance. I'm on my way lil by lil but I am really curious to know your pov 😉” So in this video, I share with you: What fatphobia is Why fatphobic thoughts are so ingrained in many of us A simple but profound practice to help see yourself and others beyond these thoughts

Reading / watching time: 21 mins This month's Q&A video is around the topic of connection (which is one of my favourites!) and comes from Aga with the question “ I’ve been binge eating for over 20 years and at this point feel like I’m completely disconnected from my body all of the time. How can I start connecting to it?”. In this video, we get into: Understanding the ways you’ve disconnected from your body The underlying reasons for this disconnection The question you can ask yourself in any moment to begin reconnecting Four simple practices to help bring you back into your body

Reading time: 2.5 mins Taken from my daily email list, Inbox Reflections . While spending time with loved ones recently, someone commented how a particular female celebrity had “such good legs”. A few years ago this comment would have thrown my mind into a downward spiral, making it mean something about me and my own legs. 2014 Lucy’s thoughts would probably have sounded like; “My legs look so short and dumpy compared to hers… I could never wear what she’s wearing… My cellulite would be on full view… God my thighs have gotten wide… I wonder what their training routine is like… I’ll Google it… Maybe if I cut my carbs and get stricter with my workouts my legs will look more toned… Urgh, summer’s not that far off, I should have started this weeks ago…" And the underlying feeling would have been “I’m not good enough”. However, in that moment I noticed how far my mindset had shifted and the comment seemed such an abstract thing to hear. It’s hard to explain, but it just seemed a strange thing to say and I wanted to ask “what do you mean by good?”. Of course, I understand that they were pointing out and praising her physical appearance. Her legs ARE beautiful and attractive! I want to be clear that I’m not saying that beauty and attractiveness are wrong in any way. To be able to see and admire beauty in its many, many forms is a wonderful thing. I’m saying that when you’re secure within your own worth, someone else’s beauty doesn’t have to change how you feel about yourself. From this place, you don’t get thrown into a state of judgement, food restrictions and over-exercising that just reinforces your binge eating patterns every time you come across someone who has a “good body”. Instead, you can see how they’re just another being, like you, living out this human experience as best as they can. And that’s a far more freeing and compassionate place to live from. What does having “good legs” mean to you? My loved one’s comment also got me thinking about how “good legs” could mean something so different to each of us anyway… When my disordered eating was at its worst, I was running most evenings, pounding the London pavements so hard I gave myself knee pain for years to come. My legs may have been a little slimmer and more toned at that time, but my knees hurt and it affected both my work and the things I enjoyed doing. (I was also deeply insecure, anxious and bingeing every night. So, not great.) These days, my legs are larger and softer - yes. But they’re also strong and my knees are pain free. My legs allow me to enjoy long walks, to have fun on my roller skates, to dig veg patches on the allotment, to connect to myself during my yoga practice, to stand (and dance!) for hours seeing my favourite bands play… From that sense, I would say that I love my legs and couldn’t ask much more from them! So, what does having “good legs” really mean to you? And what do your legs allow you to do that you’re grateful for?

In this video, I answer the question “How can I lose weight in a healthy and responsible manner?” from the perspective of binge eating recovery.

Life is too wonderful to spend it trying to lose the same 5 lbs over and over again. It’s also hard enough without this. Read more.