Short read: The game you can't win

Lucy Newport • September 27, 2024

Reading time: 1.5 mins

Originally shared as part of Inbox Reflections - my honest, heartfelt emails to support your binge eating recovery as a highly sensitive woman.




There’s a game called “enough” that many of us are unknowingly playing but know the rules of all too well.


The game where we believe that our bodies aren’t;

Slim enough

Toned enough

Curvy enough

Smooth enough

Beautiful enough

Anything else enough


And so we do the aaaaall the things to reach that winning destination (the diets, workouts, fasts etc). 


But when we reach our goals, that sense of “enoughness” almost immediately disappears… We worry about losing what we’ve worked so hard to achieve, the body shape “trends” shift or we fixate on another part of our appearance.


This reality hit me (again!) on the weekend when I was having breakfast in a London cafe and got talking to a couple of women at the table next to me. 


One of them told me that she’d never wear a sleeveless top, no matter how hot it was because she thought her arms were “too skinny”. 


This particular insecurity struck me because:

  • She had the kind of body I would have once done anything for. 
  • So many women don’t like their arms for the opposite reasons - they think they’re too big or soft. 


And I felt so much compassion for all women in that moment because there is no winning. No matter how your body looks, if you’re participating in this game, you will feel insecure about something. 


I’m not saying that it’s bad or wrong for having moments of insecurity, we all will at times and that’s okay.


What I am asking you is whether you’re willing to spend your life trying to get your body to look “enough”, when “enough” defined by this game doesn’t really exist?


Are you willing to continue playing?





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