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Originally shared as part of Inbox Reflections - honest, heartfelt emails to support your binge eating recovery as a highly sensitive woman. 

There’s an outdoor swimming pool where I live that I went to a couple of times with friends when I was about 13. People come here to swim but also to hang out and lay in the sun.

What I primarily remember about going back then is how insecure and judged I felt in my body. 

I was very conscious that my friends wore cute two-pieces and I had a one-piece - not that I would have wanted to show my tummy anyway.

I felt mortified that boys from school were there and imagined them rating or comparing our bodies. 

And I wanted to implode with embarrassment at that dark hair on my legs. 

I moved back to my home area a couple of years ago and have found myself at this swimming pool plenty of times during the summers.

And you know what? Two things have really struck me…

1. There are people there of all shapes and sizes who are unique and beautiful in their own way. Seeing women who may not have the “ideal” body we’re told to aspire to just getting on with their lives and enjoying themselves at the pool is incredibly healing. Yes, they probably have their insecurities too, but those insecurities aren’t stopping them!

2. Most of the judgement I felt before came from myself. When I now see other people’s bodies with a whole lot more love and compassion, it’s easier to see my own in the same way. I also realise that when I’m telling myself that my body isn’t good enough to be seen, I’m essentially saying that about other people’s bodies. When I question whether that is true the answer is always “of course not!”, in which case, that can’t be true for myself either.   

I'm basically saying that your local pool is likely a great place to expose yourself to the realities of what most people’s bodies actually look like, and that you’re as worthy as anyone else of baring all and enjoying yourself! 

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